…reaching, for what?

I don’t reach out to connect with people. Maybe I am a natural hermit.

The stories that my mother has told about her family, speak of vibrance, laughter, joy, and mixed with the loss of many loved ones.

And here I am, with my three – alone, unwanted, desired for my body but not as a partner.

Maybe this is my life from now on. Maybe I am to rest solely in the love of He who governs the sun and stars. Maybe I am to live in the comfort of knowing myself as myself – reaching out when I am more able to do so.

For now, Saturdays are wasted on catching up on sleep and nights are spent in lovely communion with my children. They are my delight.

I shall rest in that.

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