A mother who derides then blesses is a woman to be feared. Feared for her tempests, her anxiety and how health will affect her well being.
Truth and how it interplays upon our relationships, can secure or divide unions. Thriving on truth, can hurt but also create a safe environment where people feel free to share their thoughts and feelings without being thought of as derelict in character. These environments invite questions to further pursue how we idealize each other and cohese relationships that would otherwise be broken.
Such, is not the case.
As a deep thinker and one who connects to others on a deep level, supercilious relationships offer no respite from a fractured world. The older I become, I find it harder to embrace the superficiality of acquaintance-relationships. I seek deep, lasting relationships but I also understand that in order for me to find these, I need to connect with others.
Connections created from fear and blessings will break in time despite the close identification of genetics. Engaging with others is important for personal growth. I choose to do this without blessing and cursing but bad vibes…sometimes they come despite.
I choose to not be like my mother.